Wise traitor

I just wrote to a friend / family member, then realised I had encapsulated a core concept of the times (I mean my little piece of reality)!

I'm at the stage where moving on seems traitorous, and staying in the same place seems foolish.
Well, exactly.
Can't help but agree with myself.

Resolution of the day, probably related to the fact that I am sick and can't see or hear comfortably, stuck inside my tired sore stuffed up head -
- I am going to take a couple of days out every month.
I've been doing it every 2 months.
It isn't enough.

Will I be brave enough to do it?
Dunno.

Why would I?
- I function far better with regular time-out from responsibility
- I get desperate without it
- I need to be on my own or with someone close to wind down. At all.
- I have found myself feeling desparate for non-exhausted moments without study and without children
- I recreate quite well
- I don't like spending so much time plodding and trying too hard

Why wouldn't I?
- It's hard to organise.
- I feel guilty about it.
- I am embarrased. Really. The practicalities may be manageable if I had the wiil. Or not.