A talent:
Cut the crap. Go for the guts.
Look them in the eyes and give it clear and straight.
Smiling. Non-threatening. No requirement for self-vindication.
A new approach, temporary so perhaps bearable:
State the obvious.
Include mind-numbing detail.
Be excessively humble, risk appearing servile.
Look them in the eyes and give it clear and straight.
Smiling. Non-threatening. No requirement for self-vindication.
Cos now I am a student again, and will be treated like one.
I am learning a new discipline; the focus is THERE, not on a wider bundle of strengths.
Behave well.
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Sunday, 10 July 2011
Kind of OK
I knew my back was bad, the Xray only confirmed that.
But included in the report was some great news: no new fractures.
No new fractures.
4 years and 3 months now since the last (right 3rd metatarsal, which followed right femur and both shins, which followed ... etc).
My lower back is attempting to fuse itself (complete loss of disc space and lower back curvature).
May save a surgeon some trouble.
See what he says on Aug 19th.
But included in the report was some great news: no new fractures.
No new fractures.
4 years and 3 months now since the last (right 3rd metatarsal, which followed right femur and both shins, which followed ... etc).
My lower back is attempting to fuse itself (complete loss of disc space and lower back curvature).
May save a surgeon some trouble.
See what he says on Aug 19th.
Thursday, 7 July 2011
Regeneration
What is that coarse, irritating thing?
It seems to be attached - no wait - it has loosened and fallen
Off.
Soft-skinned and vulnerable, now.
New callouses and thicker skin
only come from friction, reformation over wounding
Build-up over another season
'til strong becomes dessicated becomes separate
sloughed off ugly scaliness.
For now,
cradle the softness.
Be inspired by the glow.
love the intrigue,
test the fresh shape
Gently.
It seems to be attached - no wait - it has loosened and fallen
Off.
Soft-skinned and vulnerable, now.
New callouses and thicker skin
only come from friction, reformation over wounding
Build-up over another season
'til strong becomes dessicated becomes separate
sloughed off ugly scaliness.
For now,
cradle the softness.
Be inspired by the glow.
love the intrigue,
test the fresh shape
Gently.
Again after yesterday
I had my (long-post-poned) appointment with Dr Chris Hanna yesterday.
Chris, a sports physician based at Adidas Sports Medicine, has known me for more than 10 years, supervising my first breaking up, non-healing, and operation. He saw me through the what-can-possibly-be-wrong-with-you-that-you-keep-falling-apart-for-no-good-reason period, got me to more specialists, onto Fosomax + pamindronate intra-venous infusions, and supervised several crutches-rehab cycles.
He referred me to the right person to start with in Sydney.
And (from afar) become aware that some odd and hard-to-detect but severe(-ish, my addition) form of osteoporosis discovered finally after a bone biopsy.
Heard that the 3-d bone scanning machine in Sydney was useful for discovering improvement (which I had) and that the Fosomax (which I had started anyway, clearly something was wrong!!) seemed to be doing considerable good.
And, back in NZ, tried to discover whether my apparently trauma-related (2 severe falls)
L5S1 disc-on-disc is a phantom newcomer issue or related to the other stuff.
Without any evidence decided unrelated.
So now is my man for both osteoporosis + the nasty back problem, sports and non-sports injuries alike ...
Background over, back to yesterday.
Back: we'ver tried everything. Rest, movement, corticosteroid spinal injections, Pilates, physio, pain-killers, strong and lots of them (they're good).
And especially time.
It has been 2 years, it's pretty conservative to wait that amount of time; here's the surgeon's phone number, here is the xray referral, here is your usual voltaren and tramadol script, please get new xrays, please call him.
Osteo: Obviously doing some running is helping a part of your physical condition (lack of mobility caused by the back problem). But it MIGHT be giving the ever-present ghosts of bad-Christmasses past a chance to do some nasty.
MIGHT. Something doesn't look/feel good (pelvis, a part of it I haven't fractured before). Here is the xray referral. Please get xrays and come back to see me.
BUT MAYBE IT'S OK.
AND IF SO, maybe you can try for a half-marathon in November.
Yep.
AND IF NOT ... well, we'll talk about that.
Have had xrays.
Have appointment Monday with Chris.
Have appointment Aug 19th with Peter Robertson (surgeon).
Mixed news.
Chris, a sports physician based at Adidas Sports Medicine, has known me for more than 10 years, supervising my first breaking up, non-healing, and operation. He saw me through the what-can-possibly-be-wrong-with-you-that-you-keep-falling-apart-for-no-good-reason period, got me to more specialists, onto Fosomax + pamindronate intra-venous infusions, and supervised several crutches-rehab cycles.
He referred me to the right person to start with in Sydney.
And (from afar) become aware that some odd and hard-to-detect but severe(-ish, my addition) form of osteoporosis discovered finally after a bone biopsy.
Heard that the 3-d bone scanning machine in Sydney was useful for discovering improvement (which I had) and that the Fosomax (which I had started anyway, clearly something was wrong!!) seemed to be doing considerable good.
And, back in NZ, tried to discover whether my apparently trauma-related (2 severe falls)
L5S1 disc-on-disc is a phantom newcomer issue or related to the other stuff.
Without any evidence decided unrelated.
So now is my man for both osteoporosis + the nasty back problem, sports and non-sports injuries alike ...
Background over, back to yesterday.
Back: we'ver tried everything. Rest, movement, corticosteroid spinal injections, Pilates, physio, pain-killers, strong and lots of them (they're good).
And especially time.
It has been 2 years, it's pretty conservative to wait that amount of time; here's the surgeon's phone number, here is the xray referral, here is your usual voltaren and tramadol script, please get new xrays, please call him.
Osteo: Obviously doing some running is helping a part of your physical condition (lack of mobility caused by the back problem). But it MIGHT be giving the ever-present ghosts of bad-Christmasses past a chance to do some nasty.
MIGHT. Something doesn't look/feel good (pelvis, a part of it I haven't fractured before). Here is the xray referral. Please get xrays and come back to see me.
BUT MAYBE IT'S OK.
AND IF SO, maybe you can try for a half-marathon in November.
Yep.
AND IF NOT ... well, we'll talk about that.
Have had xrays.
Have appointment Monday with Chris.
Have appointment Aug 19th with Peter Robertson (surgeon).
Mixed news.
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Effective
OK.
So I went to see Khylee.
After sending her my typed test script, as proposed to her last Monday.
For discussion as to why my test result was 64/100 (C+).
When I thought I had the basic hang of it.
As per last blog entry.
It worked.
Result!1: Mark now B+.
Confirmation that structure is excellent, clear and concise.
Result!2: I DID/DO "get it".
Close examination reveals that a little more detail and some stating of the obvious (never assume) ought to get me to at least an A- result in the course (ha, we'll see).
Result!3: Learning: prepare to dictate / retype all my exams and tests - and query them if the results look really wrong.
First encouragement in quite a while, actually, law-school-wise.
Much smiling, dancing in my head, looking forward to wearing my very very nice black stiletto boots on Friday night.
Extra-long-standing-much-forgiving friend Susan and me. See what we do.
So I went to see Khylee.
After sending her my typed test script, as proposed to her last Monday.
For discussion as to why my test result was 64/100 (C+).
When I thought I had the basic hang of it.
As per last blog entry.
It worked.
Result!1: Mark now B+.
Confirmation that structure is excellent, clear and concise.
Result!2: I DID/DO "get it".
Close examination reveals that a little more detail and some stating of the obvious (never assume) ought to get me to at least an A- result in the course (ha, we'll see).
Result!3: Learning: prepare to dictate / retype all my exams and tests - and query them if the results look really wrong.
First encouragement in quite a while, actually, law-school-wise.
Much smiling, dancing in my head, looking forward to wearing my very very nice black stiletto boots on Friday night.
Extra-long-standing-much-forgiving friend Susan and me. See what we do.
Effectiveness
A bit of a theme, for me.
Focus.
Streamlining.
Agility.
Energy, a sense of urgency, determination and drive.
Accompanied by constant redirection, asking the right questions on the move.
Is this working?
What would make a difference?
Why am I doing this?
To act with great speed requires NOT frenzied activity, but rather careful preparation allied with a sense of urgency.
(Source: Mark McNeilly's take on Sun Tzu's strategic writings.)
One of my very useful corporate-world learnings and teachings (I would love to think it got passed on) which holds true now.
There are ways it can go wrong, though, and I'm thinking of the direction issue right now. No point in scaling mountains that can be avoided - better to use the energy for real gain, real re-creation, or to help another along the path.
A little stuck with this at uni ...
Off to visit my crimLaw lecturer now.
Was my test result crap because
a) it was illegible therefore unmarkable?
b) because it was a crap answer?
c) because we have fundamentally different approaches and I will never achieve a good mark with this lecturer/marker?
d) because of some basic issues and errors that are easily correctible?
e) etc
Mmmmm, wondering, and hoping for some enlightenment in 15 minutes.
Visited Alex's teachers yesterday, but that's a different (encouraging but with requirement for action) story.
Focus.
Streamlining.
Agility.
Energy, a sense of urgency, determination and drive.
Accompanied by constant redirection, asking the right questions on the move.
Is this working?
What would make a difference?
Why am I doing this?
To act with great speed requires NOT frenzied activity, but rather careful preparation allied with a sense of urgency.
(Source: Mark McNeilly's take on Sun Tzu's strategic writings.)
One of my very useful corporate-world learnings and teachings (I would love to think it got passed on) which holds true now.
There are ways it can go wrong, though, and I'm thinking of the direction issue right now. No point in scaling mountains that can be avoided - better to use the energy for real gain, real re-creation, or to help another along the path.
A little stuck with this at uni ...
Off to visit my crimLaw lecturer now.
Was my test result crap because
a) it was illegible therefore unmarkable?
b) because it was a crap answer?
c) because we have fundamentally different approaches and I will never achieve a good mark with this lecturer/marker?
d) because of some basic issues and errors that are easily correctible?
e) etc
Mmmmm, wondering, and hoping for some enlightenment in 15 minutes.
Visited Alex's teachers yesterday, but that's a different (encouraging but with requirement for action) story.
Saturday, 2 July 2011
Sophie said
"There is a part of me that is screaming for you to come back
and a part of me that is passive
smiling, even
while you drift away."
She said more, actually -
http://sophiwophi.blogspot.com -
But that was what I have been wanting to say for ages and not sure how.
That was how.
I have my mojo back.
(some of it, I mean)
I had 3 days away on Waiheke. In a unit where I could see over the sea to the beyond, and the sun going down, and the sun coming up again.
I walked a lot in a light was crystalline for 2 whole days - the edges of things etched against the sky.
A present from God, and the sadnesses, all the different ones, came and went with their own rhythm.
Child Gerald and his good friend Lois came here, nearly 29 years ago, just after getting married.
But the Wai Kitchen at Oneroa, broad-bean fritters with fried halloumi, soft goats' cheese and chives, micro-greens and a glass of Man-o-War Waiheke chardonnay weren't around then.
Truly, it is a good place to eat, though un-cheap.
(actually, Gerald may have found the portion too small, the beans too scary, and the speed at which I eat rather too slow. But he would have been entertaining, warm, enthusiastic about trying something new, and glad I had no qualms about spending the money.)
Sophie said it.
and a part of me that is passive
smiling, even
while you drift away."
She said more, actually -
http://sophiwophi.blogspot.com -
But that was what I have been wanting to say for ages and not sure how.
That was how.
I have my mojo back.
(some of it, I mean)
I had 3 days away on Waiheke. In a unit where I could see over the sea to the beyond, and the sun going down, and the sun coming up again.
I walked a lot in a light was crystalline for 2 whole days - the edges of things etched against the sky.
A present from God, and the sadnesses, all the different ones, came and went with their own rhythm.
Child Gerald and his good friend Lois came here, nearly 29 years ago, just after getting married.
But the Wai Kitchen at Oneroa, broad-bean fritters with fried halloumi, soft goats' cheese and chives, micro-greens and a glass of Man-o-War Waiheke chardonnay weren't around then.
Truly, it is a good place to eat, though un-cheap.
(actually, Gerald may have found the portion too small, the beans too scary, and the speed at which I eat rather too slow. But he would have been entertaining, warm, enthusiastic about trying something new, and glad I had no qualms about spending the money.)
Sophie said it.
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